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Connect to your existing Cracked account if you have one or create a new Cracked username. The last group may be open to the most speculation, but recently a new category has emerged: People whom everyone assumes are gay, but are in fact all about the opposite sex's poontang and peeners. Not that there's anything wrong with being straight.

Why you think he might be gay: Claims to like dudes. Has made out with dudes. The above should be enough to cast some doubt, but it turns out Dick has three children by multiple women, making him at least way bisexual or a great faker.

If it came down to a choice between coke and cock, he wouldn't be snorting dicks up his nose, is all we're saying.

Slim, well-dressed, pretty mouth, nice hair. Also, the following pictorial evidence:. It is long-standing tradition that the quarterback of whatever football team you hate is gay. Troy Aikman, Peyton Manning, Joe Montana-all so totally gayaccording to various people sitting next to us at the bar watching Monday Night Football.

Though we can't exactly blame him there. We recommend the Wheel of Fortune clip. InCarmella was arrested after karate-kicking one of Garcia's ex-girlfriends during a fight at an Ohio nightclub. The fight allegedly came about because Garcia was having an affair with his ex, lindsay lohan dating samantha ronson, and Carmella was so pissed that there were restraining orders involved.

All the drama aside, when you've got insanely hot chicks beating the crap out of each other because they both want you so bad, you either really know how to lay the pipe, or you've hired the best beards in the entire universe. Sorry, haters, Terrell's just a whiny bitch. But you knew that already, right? Last year Eddie Murphy not only dated and impregnated "Scary Spice" Mel B, he also broke up with her via a Dutch television interview where he claimed the baby wasn't his. Paternity tests later proved him wrong on that count-nice one, Eddie.

Unless you're the singer of "Billie Jean," saying you're not the baby-daddy is about as heterosexual as it gets. Not to mention classy. Why you think she might be gay: The whole "I'm a lesbian in love with Ellen DeGeneres" thing was a subtle tip-off. Anne left a bad taste in the mouth of lesbians everywhere again when she left DeGeneres and married a cameraman she met during the filming of a documentary about Ellen's return to stand-up comedy ouch for Ellen.

Then she left that guy for a male co-star of her TV series Men in Trees. Oh, and somewhere in there she thought she was extraterrestrial Jesus, even publishing a book to that effect. She may or not be gay specifically, she's notbut she's sure as hell fucking crazy.

We're saying he's straight because if Gyllenhaal is just pretending to bang those chicks, that means a gay man got a lot further with a half-dozen of the hottest women on the planet than you, dear reader, ever will.

And since that's sad enough to make you cry, for everyone's sake, Jake's straightgot it? When, oh when will Oprah finally make an honest man out of Stedman? Is the wedding of the century being delayed because "The Big O" spends more time sharing a bed with best friend Gayle King on "girls only vacations" than with her alleged boyfriend?

Did you know that Oprah once dated Roger Ebert? Isn't that a lindsay lohan dating samantha ronson disturbing mental image? Two thumbs up where? Anyway, if you're a woman who continues to sleep with men after dating Roger Ebert, it's probably pretty safe to say there's no chance of you going gay, ever. We'll chalk Oprah's gay rumors up to the same people who think Condoleezza Rice is a lesbian. Why you gotta bust on the strong black sistahs? Is it because you despise their power piper perabo dating influence?

Lohan's friendship with openly gay deejay pal, Samantha Ronson, got a little more detailed recently when Lohan's MySpace correspondence from rehab yeah, that worked out well was leaked to Star Magazine. Lohan allegedly told Ronson: I want to marry you and have children with you. Christ, what hot chick in her 20s ISN'T a lesbian? We're willing to buy her another shot of Cuervo and wait it out. That said, Lohan has famously bragged about spreading for nearly every male under 75 in the zip code, so in the end, we really don't think she's gay, we just think she's a big ol' honkin' slut.

Okay, we know we're going out on a limb on this one, but stick with us. Tom Cruise may have some problems with his man-junk. Mimi Rogers pretty much called him infertile on Letterman in '98, he was only able to adopt children with Nicole Kidman, lindsay lohan dating samantha ronson, and both women dating app demographics got pregnant the SECOND they divorced him, but that doesn't necessarily mean he's gay.

And hey, while we don't think that his kid with Katie Holmes is actually his looks kinda Chinese, right? Simply because Tom Cruise is shooting blanks, that doesn't mean he wants to shoot them down a dead-end street, if you get our drift.

Sure, he's less than a man, and completely loony in a couch-jumping, Xenu-loving sort of way, but a homosexual he is probably not. C'mon, Travolta was a babe magnet with all the moves in the '70s, second only to The Fonz for pure if slightly greasy Italian machismo. And he's married to cutie-hot Kelly Preston. We're here to catch you up on all the interesting stuff you should know. Some famous people are radically different from the images we hold dear in our hearts. We like to think we're getting pretty good at spotting when a politician is lying to us Sometimes a video game's attempt to tackle the more delicate issues just plain falls short.

Don't make me do this again. Don't have an account? Please enter a Username. I agree to the Terms of Service. Add me to the weekly newsletter. Add me to the daily newsletter. Link Existing Cracked Account.

Use My Facebook Avatar. Add me to the weekly Newsletter. There are three types of Hollywood homosexuals: Jeff Garcia, Tampa Bay Buccaneers. Recommended For Your Pleasure. To turn on reply notifications, click here.


By Daily Mail Reporter Updated: The year-old redhead turned up at Samantha's Hollywood home at 6am on Monday morning - an hour after Samantha returned home alone after a late night with Sopranos actress Drea De Matteo. After the couple were heard rowing in Samantha's house, the DJ demanded Lindsay leave the house and threw a bag of the actress's clothes onto the street.

Lindsay Lohan picks her clothes up off the floor after leaving Samantha Ronson's home after an early morning row. On Sunday night, Sam met up with Drea for dinner at Nobu in Malibu, before continuing the night elsewhere. Sam, 31, finally returned to her house at 5am and laughed off a paparazzo's assumption of a romantic date with Drea, After her late night with Drea, Samantha sent a message to Shooter - who is on tour in New York on Twitter, telling him he 'was missed tonight'.

When Samantha was presumably in bed, an angry Lindsay stormed up to her house at 6am and repeatedly knocked on the door. Despite Lindsay and Samantha apparently reconciling in London last month after two months apart, it appears the DJ is reluctant to give her girlfriend the keys to her house again. A bad-tempered Lindsay appeared in no mood to talk to photographers camped outside Sam's home and told them to 'mind your own business'.

Lindsay and Samantha appeared to be on better terms at the American Idol concert on Thursday. Their latest argument comes just five days after Lindsay posted a rant, apparently about Sam, on her Twitter page at 4am. Writing on Wednesday, she said: What would you do? Even though you love them? Ten minutes later, Lindsay posted a message to Sam, demanding: But by Thursday, the pair appeared to be on better terms again, enjoying a romantic lunch at a Mexican restaurant before going to see an American Idol live tour concert at the Staples Center.

Lindsay recently admitted the couple's relationship was volatile and she was unsure how long they would last. No comments have so far been submitted.

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Lindsay Lohan was left red-faced yesterday after her on/off girlfriend Samantha Ronson threw her clothes onto the street after another row. The year-old redhead turned up at Samantha's Hollywood home at 6am on Monday morning - an hour after Samantha returned home alone after a late night with. Lindsay Lohan is hot redhead with gorgeous body. Check out all her current measurements, bra size, weight, height and cup size. Are her breasts real or fake? Lindsay Lohan Height Weight Body Statistics. Lindsay Lohan Height cm, Weight kg, Measurements inches, Bra SizeD, Boyfriends list, Fave.

Oakman Lindsay Lohan is hot redhead with gorgeous body. Check out all her current measurements, bra size, weight, height and cup size. Are her breasts real or fake? Lindsay Lohan is converting to Judaism in a bid to prove her devotion to Jewish girlfriend Samantha Ronson.